Diaries of a Boy

Club Pandemic

Russell Raines — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 13:34:22 +0000

i want to open a club named pandemic. think red white and black

Karma? my fucking balls.

Russell Raines — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 19:42:51 +0000

Great I went out on the town to forget my woes and was feeling pretty good and guess what happens? I fucking lost my passport. Forget my trip to Angeles City, forget everything. I just can’t be fucking bothered no more. I just can’t believe all this. I need a break and this happens? I know I got no one to blame, I just wished it wasn’t the passport. I needed that to get away from here for a day or two. I mean finally I’m getting the effin’ chance to travel out of this country and I get this? ho0-man gimme a break god.

Phone Blogging @ The Shamrock Irish Bar

Russell Raines — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 10:46:56 +0000

Got bored and decided to come down. She’s not here, kinda wish that she would be here. My travel plans are starting to annoy me. Why does it bother you so much! If u think I’m not gonna have a good time then fine just keep it to yourself. You don’t have to spoil it for me before I get on the effin’ plane right? It’s not gonna be you fucking problem then why fucking bother me? Argh go lick your own balls.

A few years on and still u can bring me back.

Russell Raines — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 15:31:10 +0000

I got so excited when I got your message. I replied with as little words as possible, trying to sound cool. Some time later I realized it wasn’t what I wanted to say and ended up blurting my feelings all over again. You’re a fucking drug Angelina Belly.

The Drug.

Happy Birthday Bro and I hope you know I’m sorry

Russell Raines — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 08:09:29 +0000

Chan its not that dont listen to your advice or that I’m tired of listening to your advises, trust me I’ve always listen. I’m just a little lost now maybe a lot lost and just plain out of gas. I had to run to get a clear mind. If you feel like you’re gonna give up from being my brother I totally understand, hell even I can’t leave with myself. However I will always consider you my brother. Happy Birthday. He’s my brother and I’m heavy

To do it.

Russell Raines — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 08:52:52 +0000

A japanese wooden box, actually a suitcase laid out on the sand. Behind him a remote control Land Rover Lr3 toy car. A thumb drive in his hand which carries information and photos of those who means the most to him. A torn shirt which was given from his mom is currently being worn by him. One phone that doesn’t fully function anymore is turned on. Plus one more phone that works which is turned off. A pair of Nike Crown Low, old and soggy sits within the suitcase. Next to it are some cds that he rarely listened to but likes it to be there for show of sentimental value. There was a pair of reading glasses with black frames and another with green frames. The black frames didn’t belonged to him but he kept it anyway. It was the only way he could still feel her all this time. A couple of the cards from the arcade is placed in there – the only thing that was left as proof that he ever spent time with his close guy friends. The water from the shore is quickly coming closer and closer. The xanax he held in one hand would give him the courage he needed to continue with his next action. He swallowed the pills and picks up a dull blade. It cuts thru after several try, he just never expected the pain to be so vivid.

Should have waited for the pills to kick in he thought.

He took one last look at the car behind him, then turned to gaze at the stars. Hopefully after a few more talks inside of him – he will come to pass under the stars and later swept away by the sea.

switching off.

Russell Raines — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:40:47 +0000

imagine switching off. permanently, forever. did u manage to get ur last msgs out before turning off? does it matter even if you did? will people take notice? take a pause? or will the just switch to another channel?

if u do turn urself off, hows it gonna be? what goes on beyond the static? nothingness? and wat if the world was just waiting for you to get of the fucking air? so much better with u off the air man. hows it gonna be?

Gran Turismo 4 : Garage Favourites BMZ Z4

Russell Raines — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 08:11:53 +0000

The Blimp and the Z4

To be human. I hate.

Russell Raines — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 20:13:40 +0000

Self medication and ‘herbal’ treatments are nothing more than a temporary escape from my troubles. I do have to admit these things offer me a small period of comfort during my days. With all my current dramas I begin to agree with PolarBear, that life should have a switch that disconnects us from our feelings. I feel tired on so many different levels.

Utterly Dissapointed

Russell Raines — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 14:51:29 +0000

When u did a one eighty on me tonight you killed me.

I’m now on xanax. Secretly. Honestly I feel ready to say goodbye.