After all this time

Diana, I can’t believe that you still remembered. Thought that I had such a small impact on you since my kelefe role in you life story spand only 2 days.

“you see that fountain? the way it shoots water up and down? that’s how life and love is. you’re down now, but someday you’ll be up again”

Couldn’t have said that any better. I wish what I’ve said to you remains in your mind for years to come. God how I want to be in that park again with you.

 

Sidenote

Ocean’s Thirteen OST Album. A gem.

Undress Beside The Ashes of the Fire

 

Hardly Smiling

5 more days to my psych appointment. Haha, yes I’m mental but going to go get help for it. So that should count as a step in the right direction, right? Been slipping off my rocker lately. It’s odd, I honestly haven’t had a good night’s sleep for awhile now. It’s been a quick hour or so nap followed by me opening my eyes wide awake then closing it again. It sounds so cliched but I’m missing you. The kind of yearning that most malay people would describe by saying ‘makan tak lalu, tidur tak lena – mandi tak basah’. 

You’ve been appearing in my dreams too. Ames said that my dreams are reflecting on the things or ways how I want my life to be. She makes sense right there, before this it has been all the boring dreams that hardly makes me think about it after waking up. Oh and I have a remedy for people who find themselves to have a hard time sleeping. I have remedied my sleeping problems by having lullabies played at a pretty low volume. Thanks to this I have manage to get somewhat of a way to induce sleeping on myself. My recommendation for the music? Iron & Wine’s Resurrection Fern. 

I really urge you guys to look this up (Thanks Tina for exposing this song). Though this particular song by them carries a message of sadness and melancoly and describes the lost of something. I can relate with what I’m growing thru with C’s story.

I’m trying hard as fuck to get on and move on. But as of this point in time, I have understood that I can’t and I don’t want to. I just hope you’re there thinking of me in passing at least.